“Wherefore I also said, I will not drive them out from before you; but they shall be as thorns in your sides, and their gods shall be a snare unto you....That through them I may prove Israel, whether they will keep the way oof the LORD to walk therein, as their fathers did keep it, or not.” Judges 2:3,22
Jessica slipped her arms into her sweater sleeves as she slid off the examination table. Dr. Meins typed on her computer while Jessica drew in a deep breath. She’d been a year without touching one drop of alcohol, yet whenever she smelled a beer or wine, her forehead would begin to bead with sweat. But, the good thing was her liver was healing...almost completely healed.
“I’ll refill your prescription. You’re doing well.” Dr Meins turned and looked Jessica in the eyes. “But you are going to have to make some decisions. Alcoholism is a condition that never goes away. You’ve heard it said, once an alcoholic always an alcoholic. You’ve been strong this year, but what if something happens...some trouble that sends you to the bottle?”
Jessica dropped her gaze to the floor and tightened her jaw. She didn’t want to think about failing. Couldn’t even consider it or she’d loose her daughter.
Dr. Meins touched her shoulder. “Jessica. I know your loyal. Your friends are...” Dr, Meins lips twisted in an obvious attempt to find the right words. “They are from your past and will not understand...might never understand what is important to you now. They’ve been understanding, but until they accept Christ, until they love Him as you do, they will never understand your new life.”
“I am finding it hard...” Jessica sighed. Church, well it seemed like no one trusted her there. Dr. Meins was kind and always welcoming, but she wasn’t a friend. And while Jessica didn’t enjoy the things she did before with her old friends...they were still her friends. Still important to her.
“Listen, I’m having a barbecue at my house this Friday. Why don’t you come? There will be other single and military moms there...Like Marla. Do you remember her?”
Jessica nodded. Marla was quiet, but nice. “Thanks Doc.” She slipped her feet into her shoes. She did need to change friends.
“And once, you have made new friends, you’ll find it easier to not be influenced by your old friends.”
“I’m not now.”
Doc held her hands up and nodded. “I know. I know. You’ve been incredible. But when things get rough,” she leaned forward. “And they will get rough when your husband returns from his tour in the Middle East, you’ll need friends who can encourage you in your faith and in your decision not to drink. Your old friends can’t do that.” Doc pulled out a card and handed it to her. “This is my personal phone number and my address. Come Friday. We’ll be glad to have you.”
Jessica smiled softly. “I’ll let you know.”
Dr. Meins opened the door and they both went through. Jessica turned to her. “Thanks again...and yes, I will come. Can I bring my daughter?”
“Of course.” Dr. Meins smiled. “We’ll be glad to have her.”
When we get saved, our past isn’t wiped out. We still must move through the quagmire of consequences our sins left behind.
The Israelites did not do what God required of them in clearing the land and following only Him. Instead, they followed the gods of the people that were round about them. So, God used their mistake of not ridding the land of the other peoples and their gods as both a way to keep them humble and a way to test their desire to follow Him.
Three things I’ve learned to help survive and even overcome the sins of the past are:
- Pray in great earnest to know God, to have Him reveal Himself to you in a very deep and personal way—be deliberate and persistent and diligent in praying this moment by moment. This battle to not succumb to past temptations must be fought on your knees with a tremendous desire to know God and have a lasting, and deepening relationship with His Holy Spirit.
- Read God’s Word like it’s a love letter to you. Discover Who He is and how very much He loves you through rereading and absorbing every word, every detail, every story in the Bible. Understand that when He tells how His soul grieved for the misery of Israel after He tells them (with great sorrow, obviously very deeply hurt) that He would no longer deliver them...the pain much like that of the person married to an adulterous spouse might feel. (Judges 10:10-16) By the way, He does deliver Israel after they completely turn back to Him. Or read Song of Solomon as a picture of God’s love and desire for you. Read with the imagery before your eyes of Jesus’ Passion in John 14-21. Psalm 139 and Ephesians 1 are also wonderful passages to discover how very much you mean to God.
- Remove the stumbling blocks from your life. It might be people. It might be situations. It might be what you watch or listen to or a hobby that opens you up to things that cause you to fall. Then fill that time and energy with new activities and people and situations that are positive, that draw you closer to God or at the very least keep you from moving away from Him. This is what sanctifying yourself means—separating yourself from those things that keep you from knowing and loving and pleasing and serving God.
I think some might accuse me of being a runner, or of disloyalty. And, I think at times I have been that. But I know that God has blessed me abundantly, has drawn me closer to Him. I love Him more and more each day, and yet each day I see how easily I fall away. Just about the time I think, “I’ve got this” I discover I don’t.
But knowing that God loves me enough to continue to humble me, to continue to exercise my faith muscles and my commitment to Him muscles, and to challenge my current perspective on things, makes me realize that He truly is a great, all knowing, all powerful God. In fact, it enables me to look at temptation with the knowledge that even if I stumble, even if I fail, all is not lost, but better yet not to give in and make the road I travel even more difficult.
God’s not waiting for me to fall so He can punish me. He left the thorns in my side so that I will know to lean on Him. When other people and their gods and temptations press in on me, He wants me to know I don’t have to give in to them. He wants me to know He loves me too much to let me become prideful and self-righteous because I think I can handle life without Him or better than the next person. That gives me both peace and courage.
“...there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness....” II Corinthians 12:7-9
