Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,” I Corinthians 13:4
For a period in my life I envied people who lived in those beautiful homes on grand estates. Before I fell asleep at night I would dream of one day building my own mansion. Every detail down to the paint color, molding, and curtain design became an obsession.
I'd badger my husband to buy a bigger home. Surely we could afford it.After awhile the lust for luxury turned sour, and I found myself despising those who had those mega homes. I began to put them in the less spiritual bracket and exalt myself as being a better person, because I had a humble home. What utter nonsense. Oy. I'm ashamed to admit it.
But that's what envy does. It comes from lust for what we don't have or can't do, and then evolves into scorn. Definitely not a characteristic pleasing to God.
I don't remember when I changed my way of thinking. I only know that God continues to work in my heart. He showed me how He saw these people, and through His Word He revealed how much He loves everyone. Then, with loving hands, He pulled back the layer of pride that scaled my soul exposing the ugliness of my own sinful heart. But He didn't leave me there, exposed to the world. With gentleness only the Holy Spirit possesses, He revealed what He wanted to replace that envy and pride--humility and trust in Him, which brings Him pleasure.
"A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones." Proverbs 14:30
If I am to love as God loves, I must not envy anyone. That means I need to recognize that God will supply all my needs including talents, skills, and emotional fortitude. When I trust that He provides perfectly for me I have no reason to envy.
Sometimes things slip by. I find myself looking at some talent someone else has, or some possession they own with a longing in my heart. At such a time, I must remember Whom I really love. If I love the talent or object to the point of envying the other who possesses it I am not loving God, the One who saved me from my sin. And I'm not loving the person I envy.
When I burn with zeal to be like someone or have what that person has, I am not loving that person. I'm thinking only of myself.
We often say, "I envy you" as a way to rejoice over someone's good fortune. I think I'll keep a check on myself that I am indeed not envying you.
Lord, help me to love You above all else, and help me to love my neighbor as You have loved me.
