“Charity…Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;” I Corinthians 13:4-5
Have you ever been embarrassed by an acquaintance, a friend, or even a family member? I’m positive I embarrassed my mother on a regular basis as a child. I look back and shake my head…what a spoilt brat I was. At times, the way I behaved, clearly the only person I ‘loved’ was myself and even then I didn’t ‘love’ me well.
I remember one ski trip Mom arranged with one of my friends and her mother. On the car ride to the mountains, I started complaining about something. I don’t remember what it was, but I know I sure went on a tirade about it. The possibility that I was perhaps embarrassing my mom did cross my mind, and that perhaps this behavior was not quite right did poke at me. And yet, I did it. I behaved unseemly.
Looking back, I see that not only did I not behave in a loving manner to my mom or my friend, but also to myself. It occurs to me that when I’m behaving in an unloving manner, I’m not only not loving the other person, but I’m not loving myself…and an even greater travesty, I’m not loving God.
When a person draws attention to himself; when he is rude or demanding; when he is complaining or being negative; he is not loving others. AND he is not loving himself.
As Christians, we tend to think that we shouldn’t love ourselves. In fact, self-deprecation seems to creep in as a means to appear humble. Of course, the opposite is true as well. People think they are loving themselves when they are boasting or seeking their own good. Neither of these approaches is truly love.
The attributes of love should be applied to ourselves and others. If we are capable of treating ourselves with dignity and kindness, we will have practice to do the same for others.
I’m not talking about being obsessed with one’s self, but about recognizing the value you have as God’s creation, as a person loved and cherished by God. This type of love is not prideful or selfish, but recognizes the very fact that you exist gives you worth because God deemed you worth creating.
When we behave ‘unseemly’ we degrade not only those around us, but ourselves as well. That isn’t loving others, it isn’t loving yourself, and it isn’t loving God.
Humbly accepting God’s love, living to please Him, denying your self-will and pride, all require recognizing that you belong to God, that you are nothing without Him, AND require rejoicing in the fact that God sees you, loves you, and has a purpose for you that will bring Him great joy.
Foundational to our behavior is our understanding of our position in Christ. If we do not first understand that we are nothing without Him, but in Him we have everything and can be everything He wants us to be, then we will never be able to have behavior that reflects love—reflects God.
“And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.” I Corinthians 13:13
